Welcome, or welcome back

Kipple Effect was my post-divorce PTSD journal, where I chronicled my struggles to survive post-divorce abuse and my journey to recover from domestic violence and cult abuse through dream imagery and PET (Prolonged Exposure Therapy). I am very lucky to have had a therapist who practiced active mindfulness. She is one of the gentlest souls I’ve ever known. From her I learned to check in with myself. Despite the fact that my kids’ father has never changed, I changed and I started to disentangle myself from those old parental and societal tapes that play on repeat below our awareness level.

CONTENT WARNING: mention of blood and medical incompetence. If sensitive skip two paragraphs.

I abruptly stopped writing at some point, because my health had been spiraling for years from stress, so in spite of my mental health improving, my body had passed the breaking point and doctors dismissed my concerns and pressured me to take antidepressants until I was on the toilet most of the day and waking up convulsing at night. I finally found a naturopathic doctor who helped me make significant inroads towards health, but my gut had been compromised and my appendix ruptured in 2012.

Having been so consistently dismissed by doctors, I didn’t go to the hospital for two days until a friend informed me she was on her way to drive me to the emergency room because I was peeing blood. By the time I was hospitalized, my body had isolated the infection and a drain would have been sufficient, but the doctors wanted me to take Ciprofloxicin and my nurse lied about the risks, while I was on morphine. What followed was a drug-induced hell I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover from, and I never fully have. I have another website that chronicles part of my recovery. I’ll post a link once I’ve migrated that site.

Ciprofloxicin is the reason Kipple Effect became a casualty of Drupageddon in 2014. I was in the habit of keeping up on Drupal news but I was very ill for several years, and it was several years afterward that I found out the site was down. All I could do at the time was pull a back up of the database. I don’t know if I have an earlier one. I haven’t had a chance to search my back up drives.

When I have time, I plan to copy and clean up the posts from the back up, if that’s what it takes. I’ll add them back in according to the date of the original post.

The reason I’m resurrecting this blog without the original content is because I need a place to journal, and this worked for me before. I found myself trapped with an abuser during the pandemic, and his friends brutalized me to get me out of the house he bought for us. I’ve lived in my back yard since September 2020 because my home is uninhabitable. It took 8 months to get into a brain trauma clinic, where I have seven sessions a week. One of the things they suggest is journaling my trauma, so that’s what I plan to do here. It’s all kipple.